Final Fantasy Haven

Vampiric Delirium

All my poetry and lyrics here. Some are about vampirism, others suicide, very few about love. Enjoy.

And I don't think I can take
The selfish sorrow.
Mascara tears of sin and black
Drip from my eyes

And I can feel my wrists-
-They're leaking.
Scarlett-
Regret,
Hate,
I'm aching
And I'm dying
Yet I barely feel a thing.

Still I wonder how long it will take
For them to notice
I'm not breathing.
I'm not sleeping...
Lungs aren't breathing, heart not beating...

Will they see the body first?
The shell that once held me?
The blood-matted locks of hair,
White-
-Whites of eyes visible,
Gazing ahead, uncomprehending.

Or will they see the knife that released my soul
From this shell?
The blood-stained ridges, the gristle and flesh
Still attatched..

Smell the coppery scent of of blood?
Taste the grief and selfishness of my death in
The air?
Feel the jagged kitchen knife,
Feel my scarred, once unmarked skin...

Or will no-one see my shell?
Shall I lie unrestful
In this room?
Am I still dead if no-one knows I am?

Am I the only one who cares?

_________________
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Vampiric Delirium · Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:42 am Post subject:

What do you think
When you think your twisted thoughts of me?
See my wrists' scars
In your head?
Will them open wounds?
Want me dead?

Your silky mental torture
Molests my soul
And rapes my mind
You know-
I know-
Why you're doing
All of this

And I can't
Prove a thing
Because it's all in my head
Your head?
Are the bruises in my mind
Or on my flesh?

The confusion is
Driving me insane
Or is that you?
Did you mean for me to
Be this way?

Did you torture me,
Did I torture you?

Now I don't even know
Who's who.
Everything leads around in a circle,
Back to me, back to you.
What's the difference anymore?

The difference is so clear
And yet it's barely there

Between you and me

But does anybody care?
_________________
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Vampiric Delirium · Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:43 am Post subject:

Into your eyes I cried
Suicide
And then I knew
You could tell
I meant it.

I knew
You could feel it
In my tears
Darling.

You were the only thing I breathed for
ANd nothing else in this world
Tortures me more

I remember that last moment
I looked
Into your eyes
And in that moment
There was nothing...
There was no sky,
No sun, no rain

All there was was you
Your tears
My tears
And the pain that stay Laiden in
And suspended between
Them.

I know you can't see this
I guess you're not here
Anymore

But I had to tell you, let you know
This one last chance
I had to say goodbye...

I need you to know
I need you to realise

That when your wrists bled out
So did mine.
_________________
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Vampiric Delirium · Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:43 am Post subject:

Please be real for me
Just once
You can't STAY in this place
A millimetre wide
that floats between the living
The dead
And the non-existant
I need you here
And the thing is

I can't walk into the kitchen
Because I'm scared I'll find the knives
Can't stay in the world of the living
I'm taunted by the lives
And I can't believe it's over
Because I know it will never be.

And I really don't want to breathe
because everytime I take
A breath
a little more of it gets inside of
Me.
When will the feeling of this cease?
When can I taste the dying
breaths
No more?

And there's this feeling
that nobody knows the taste of dying
but me
And I really can't explain it
How I taste it in my veins
It's in my blood
And when I bite down hard
on my lip
It fills me further.

And something's terribley wrong
I can't
Put words against it
But nothing's right
Anymore
It's all gone.

And I can't walk into the kitchen
Because I'm scared I'll find the knives...
_________________
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Vampiric Delirium · Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:44 am Post subject:

I wasn't ready for your suicide.
The death that you gave and recieved.
Torments me with every breath.

Now I hide from every sharp object
I see.
I resist the urge to look down the street
For fear that I might see the
Oncoming car as a release
from my pain.

The self murder mission you revealed
Placed my own apon me.
I don't want to start this again
Where I part flesh from flesh
With clean metal
Every day.

And I don't want to forget you
By not doing it at all.

So I'll do this one last time
So I may not forget you.
I take my nice clean
Stainless steel blade

And carve your name down my side
Just enough so it will scar
And I can feel it
True and painful.

My love.
_________________
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Vampiric Delirium · Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:45 am Post subject:

Sitting in her room
She rocks back and forth
In a chair

See her wrists? They're bleeding
See her heart?
Not beating..
Half in the world of the living
Half in the world of the dead.

And you can't open the curtains,
She's allergic to the light.

And the mention of blood drives her insane
The mere thought of untouched rose pink flesh
brings her to her knees.

She doesn't believe she's alive
She doesn't believe she's dead
She doesn't know what to believe...

And she looks up through her curtain of wild
Black hair.
Blood drips off the tips..
Her eyes full of hatred
Confusion
Regret.

As she rocks forward
A slit of light that has escaped into the room
via the curtain's gap
Falls across her face.

She feels it and hisses slightly
Disturbing the eerie silence of the room.

She can't wait till it's night again..
Time to remember who she really is...
_________________
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Vampiric Delirium · Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:45 am Post subject:

My life doesn't seem quite as wasted now
But it all revolves around you
And nothing else
I don't know if that's a good thing at all.

How can I say if this is love?
Obsession...
Addiction?

I think that somewhere
Deep down
You realise that you do
Hold my life in your hands.

I don't expect you to understand this
But Right now I just need you to pretend.
Because sometimes it's less hurtful than the truth.

Pretend for me... Now.
_________________
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Vampiric Delirium · Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:46 am Post subject:

My blood is tainted
With a thousand sins

My mind is unclean
Deep inside.

My heat bleeds in your hands
Pulsating wildy.
Trying to keep me alive.
Wake me up.
Don't hold your breath.
It won't work for long.
_________________
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Vampiric Delirium · Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:46 am Post subject:

You say pretending gets me nowhere?
That's okay.
I have nowhere to go.

You see,
Darling,
I'm dying.

Slowly
And from the inside out.
I can feel the shadows eating me
Consuming all that's left of me

And I can't
Remember
So many things I used to know.

And I can't feel
All these emotions
That I'm sure I used to feel.

It's eating me.
Blank where I used to be.
Love, don't worry, you won't have to put up with me
For much longer.
_________________
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Vampiric Delirium · Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:47 am Post subject:

Nightime has come.
See her prowl, see her sneak
Fitting in her own skin
She knows who she is

Eyes gleam with life
And reflect death
As she leans delicately over her
Forever begging victim.

Her black hair tickles his face softly
But he doesn't laugh...

He can't help but see the element of
Vampiric beauty in her.
Silky porcelein skin
Rose petal lips
And as she snarls at him softly
The blood that drips from her fangs

And what fear he feels
Yet he still wonders what it feels like
To be one like her.
To be one with her.
To be one of the night.

But he doesn't know what happens when day comes...

_________________
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