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OldBean
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Joined: 29 Aug 2007
Posts: 39
Location: Western Australia, Perth
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 Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2007 8:09 am Post subject: |
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This chapter was originally FFH exclusive, but I've changed my mind due to personal reasons..=/.
| Quote: | OldBean 1.5 Director’s Cut
Chapter 31, One Month Later
OldBean was on the couch, watching television. It was, magnificent. The softness of the couch, the entertainment of the television, it was glory. Only the gods would get this sort of luxury…and only the gods. Because the gods definitely didn’t get idiots breaking in every five minutes. Boda and Foda burst in.
’Who ya gonna call?!’ they both shouted, and they high-fived each other. Like Father, Like Son. They’re idiots. The blue little Dragius was smiling at the couch, in which the grey little guy just jumped on. The luxury was no longer a gift of the goddesses.
’So, ma’ man, hows it been goin’?’
’Not so good, get outta my house.’
’But we live here now.’
’Not.’
Boda cleared his throat. ‘I have lived at this house with both you, and Gabran for longer than two years. So, if you’ll allow my father…’
’You’re missing me, nutcase!’ yelled Dennis from the other room.
’Shut up, Lep!’ OldBean called back. Kyselia just walked in.
’Do you know where Alfred is?’
OldBean waved his feathers at her.
’Uh, uh. If you want advice, you go straight to the master. Me.’
OldBean thought he heard a snigger coming from the basement.
’Shut up, Moo cow.’ OldBean called at Gabran. He continued.
’What is your problem?’
’Well, er, Zerf just decided it would be nice to show off his backside in the streets.’
’A good solution,’ said OldBean, ‘would be to take out your frustration on him, like I did on my first day. Arrest him.’
Everyone in the room laughed. Dennis angrily yelled back from upstairs, ‘Can you folks shut up!? I’m trying to watch Ciglev Three…’
’I don’t think that’ll work,’ she said. ‘Not even the officers want to get near him. He’s surrounded by like, thugs of all sorts. And they’re pretty disgusting.’
Gondour burst in too. OldBean was wondering why he never installed security guards at the front door to stop people barging in uninvited.
’Now now, Selia.’ he said, pushing the little owl off his couch and sitting down. He put his hands behind his head. ‘The matter is simple.’
’Get off my beautiful couch!’ said OldBean as he got up, flaring with anger. ‘That thing cost me a fortune!’
’Of what? One million?’
’No! It almost cost me Dennis’s life!’
’Shaddup!’ he heard Dennis yell. ‘I’m trying to watch ‘Ciglev Three, the Remake’!
’Whatever Leap-ster!’ yelled back OldBean.
’Now, now, my young friend…’
’Shut it. I’m older than you, and you know that you should respect your elders!’
’Older than me by one damn month. Now, my friend.’ he continued. He spoke to Kyselia with a professional voice. OldBean was furious.
’To deal with such morons, you have to-‘
’Give them money!’ yelled OldBean.
’No, OldFart.’ said Gondour. ‘You have to simply-‘
’Give them back their well earned luxury!’ burst out OldBean again. Gondour had no choice but to hold OldBean down to the carpet so he couldn’t bounce back up.
’No. The point is-‘
OldBean whipped off his top hat so he could escape, he flew off.
’Now, as I was saying.’ Gondour continued. ‘The point is that he won’t give in unless you offer him something. Knowing Zerf, he wants more empty tin cans for some strange reason. You can simply, lie to him.’ he smiled at her. ‘I hope your business is going well.’
OldBean came back flying out with a fire extinguisher, and yelled, ‘Fire in the hole!’ and he fired right at the tiny little crack in the ceiling.
Gondour snorted. ‘What the hell was that meant to do?’
OldBean laughed. ‘Just wait and see.’
Tons of dust fell right on Gondour. OldBean thought he saw a frog falling out of the tiny little crack somehow too. He looked up. Apparently the crack was large than ever now. Gondour started yelling, ‘Get it off me!’
OldBean in confusion and panic, accidently sprayed Gondour with the extinguisher. Gondour ran out of the house.
’Sorry!’ OldBean called after him. He was still the clown of the group. The leader of the humour people…or whatever you called them. Life wasn’t as bad as he thought. Having to sit on a comfy couch wasn’t the best luxury you could get. He still had his private room at the OldBean FBI…
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Done! And what a coincidence, my post count at TFF was 100 due to this chapter. Wierd, but w00t! That, and over 30 posts already here thanks to this too. =)
Comment please, folks, please! I'd love to hear some!
BTW, a sequel and a prequel will be coming your way...
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